Can an affair save my marriage?

The idea of an affair saving your marriage seems absurd when you first consider it but I urge you to take another look because it can bring your marriage from the brink of destruction to a place of health. It’s not going to happen every time and I certainly wouldn’t recommend an affair as away to save your marriage but it might end up being a nice benefit.

Affairs happen because someone in the marriage isn’t getting what they need. That doesn’t always mean sex, however. Women often cheat because they want to feel cherished and desired and the sex is just a side benefit. Men often cheat for the ego boost. If another woman is interested in you it must mean that you’re vibrant and worthy and no matter what you do those feelings tend to fade from a marriage over time.

A marriage is most often saved by having an affair because it reinvigorates the cheater’s feelings about life. If you’re stepping out on your wife it’s because you’re deeply dissatisfied with your life. If the affair works as it should then you’ll feel like a new man full of life and lust for everything that comes with it. Flowers will smell better, the blue sky will look bluer, and you’ll actually love your wife more. That will likely result in the end of the affair but it might very well feel like you’re meeting your wife all over again as you discover that early relationship lust for her and you want nothing but to be with her and to rekindle the feelings you once had that led to you getting married. Chances are good she’ll respond to your energy and come right along with you on that journey of pleasure and excitement.

Sometimes an affair rescues a marriage in a somewhat darker way. Imagine that you’re on top of the woman you’re cheating with and you’re inside her thrusting in that pleasurable way. All of a sudden you’re hit by a wave of guilt and pain as you realize the full extent of how hurtful what you’re doing would be to your wife if she found out. You might finish but chances are good you’ll pull out and that will be the end of the affair. As you consider what you’ve done you’ll think of ways to make it up to your wife without telling her what you did (because that would end the marriage for sure). If you stick to that and you actually make the marriage better you will have saved it.

Finally, an affair could save your marriage by allowing you to release whatever pent up energy you have an go back to being a good husband and/or father. Sometimes a guy just needs to sleep with someone else because he craves variety with such passion. If you’re one of those men then you’re actually doing your marriage and life a service by not letting that energy destroy the rest of your life and infect you in a bad way.